this is just really funny to me
because people have recently discovered i am easy/fun to do this to
and that i basically enjoy it as long as it’s people i like
yeah, that’s like exactly it?
like, i give you permission to make me blush in public
go nuts
but you really, really really really, have to be one of those people
hahahaha
yes!
like someone was playing with me about this essentially and just like embaraaasing me and he was like THIS IS SO FUN
and i was like i will not admit this is fun.
no.
screw you.
(not screw you o_o)
hahahaha
but yeah i think honestly that bdsm is infectious
OH SHIT YEAH
like
ok
well this is kind of creepy BUT
i had… i had a favorite college roommate
sophomores, shared room, dormitory
ooh boy here we go
hahaha
no! this isn’t remotely sexy!
ok ok
lol
ok
so
college dorm
so i’m this royal mess
i’m 18, 19
just
brass
bombastic
disorganized
loud
you know, me
and i … ok, a word about the dorm
it was a “residential college”
sure
during year one
same as my school
everyone d0rmed
freshmen stock up on “points”
like
hogwarts
and sophomore year you get first thwack at prime rooms
ohh
word
depending on your points
so first of all
i had hella points
i’d chaired as a freshman
on the uh the philanthropy committee
which totally doesn’t happen
like, freshmen don’t get to do that
haha whaat
oh, someone bowed out
and i jumped all over it
so i had more points than *anyone*
but!
as a single person
obviously, if people pair up together and go after a room
their combined point total outdoes a single person’s
oh nice
so i kind of over-waited finding a roommate
because my goal was to go after a single room
like, use serious points on this single room
yeah
no backup plan
two other girls were also gunning for that room
i’d say we were the three with the most points, okay
so we’re basically looking at a lottery for that room
okay
so me, C, and A are all gunning for this single room
oh god, A
this very nice girl, okay
but beyond bizarre
sheltered
a lisp
a little stinky
worst thing:
HER PARENTS
EVERY WEEKEND, HER PARENTS
IN THE DORM
oh no.
WITH A
hell no
hellno
run away
yeah
so C approaches me
C
pragmatic
not really shy, just dry
wears l.l. bean
a little prim
very polished, very cultured individual
seems better
very organized
even a strange fit for the humanities dorm
she seemed very much like a scientist
introverted, rational.
(i’m ENFP, if we’re keeping notes here)
so she approaches me
ok
a little bit out of desperation
she has a proposal
a rational proposal, but she’s also appealing to my heart
“DON’T MAKE ME ROOM WITH A”
“YOU ARE GOING TO WIN THE HELL OUT OF THAT SINGLE, AND I WILL BE TRAPPED WITH A”
“also, i understand you don’t have a roommate.”
just, very pragmatic.
and she laid it out: that there was the grim possibility *she’d* edge me out
and *i’d* room with A
which is essentially rooming with A’s parents
i mean, really
oh god
i mean
now, C was not threatening me directly
i understand
and i had to appreciate that she would do everything in her power, in home stretch, to get that single from me
because, A
so! she said
in the interest of being kind to all humanity
let A have the single
in the meantime, we WORK TOGETHER
and have ourselves the best fucking room in the whole dormitory
yes
on the whole i am a real illogical person
governed by moods instead of data
however!
this appeal to my logic
i just, i was wowed
i was like, she has considered this, she has outlined an argument for rooming together, i’m just very impressed
yes
and, again, A
oh, A.
like i think i might’ve handled it?
i can’t even imagine
but
i have a high threshhold?
but i had to agree that A really ought to live alone
so i agreed.
NOW HERE IS WHERE MY STORY BEGINS
hahhahahhhaha
that was like
hahahahahahaha
the beginning of fresh prince
omfg
i’m so sorry
no its ok
it was funny
right, and C was so clear and succinct
so i’m readying to move in with C
she appealed to every part of my person that can be appealed to
my reason, my emotions, my philanthropy, and the tiny part of me that didn’t want to live with A either
yes
the dorm learns that C — petite, prim, soft-spoken, slightly harsh C — and *i*
again, loudmouth, very often “stepping in it,” disorganized, blaring computer games jenn
are going to room together
somebody pulls me aside
and is very “oh my fucking god, what is the matter with you”
uhoh
yeah, i’m like “what”
and this person is like “uh, match made in hell?”
and i’m like, what are you even talking about
and this person is like, you aren’t friends, you have zip in common, and! also! you are going to drive each other CRAZY
see that last part worries me
i played it cool
i think, aloud, i disagreed,
said something very terse about the points system
and our great room
which outweighs all
and conspicuously left out the part where A lives alone, to everyone’s joy
but inside
i was anxious
and it mounted
to neurotic
to full-fledged panic
because i HAD agreed to live with C
and people were right!
what had i done!
depending on the individual’s temperament
i think other people had approached C and said the same
which is quite irritating
oh god
that people were really inserting themselves in our decision
i hate group dynamics like that
very iago, you know?
yeah!
so let me again stress my admiration for C
if it isn’t totally apparent
i was both panicked AND IRKED
because of what other people were saying
so i pledged to myself that, not only would i SHOW THEM
by being the best fucking roommate who ever lived
i’d SHOW C
this is where my tale launches into my first flirtation with masochism
i:
never left a dirty dish in the sink
in the communal kitchen
because i knew how C hated it
if i smoked
i’d SHOWER BEFORE ENTERING THE ROOM
oh my goodness
if i came in and C was studying, i’d park my ass and study
#effort
we decorated the room together
nothing would go on a wall without us saying “is this ok”
i kept the room tidy
and!
i mean
if someone came in
this seems pretty great
and moved to sit on C’s bed
i’d shout NO
SIT ON MINE
because C hated dirty butts on her bed
again, someone must’ve planted the same neuroticism in C:
if she were listening to music when i walked in
she’d move to get her headphones
and i’d say “no, please” and listen with her
dude that’s insane
re: dirty butts
we deferred each to the other INCREDIBLY
well, i mean
she has her things, i have mine
haha i know but
idk
what no one, not even us, expected or anticipated
was that, no matter how diametrically opposed C and i were
we are both polite to a fault, and adaptable
our shared, neurotic politeness morphed
into a really deep friendship that i cannot explain
huh
she and i have discussed this
that is awesome
and in the years since
we have each described the other as “my best roommate”
without really having words
but it was such a mutual respect where
we both really put ourselves out
to keep our own neuroses in check but respect the other person’s
no anger, no ire, no fights
every decision, collaborative
that is a great lesson
of humanity
where we both were just unbelievably yielding
because we made this choice and there was going to be NO CLASH.
and i tie this into a bigger remark about “infectious bdsm” because
i mean
our nosy dorm-mates *had* noticed
and they were real pesky about bugging me about it
it sounds a lot just like
respect
like, “oh my god, does C really make you shower before coming in”
uh, no bro
she doesn’t
i just know that she can smell a ciggy from miles away
lol but imagine
“oh my god does C make you guard her bed”
uh, no bro
imagine if she did
i’m just beyond reproach
i’m not going to be irritating in a single way
because i love C, i love her for setting this up with me,
and this is how i show her i respect her
by going out of *my* way, and this is really for me, to yield to her
and she does the absolute same for me
and i make my bed every morning now, for *her* for ME
we both got so much out of it, too
here’s the amazing thing
she and i were both in sync
one night, i sat straight up in bed, in the dark
just wide awake
and my eyes adjusted, and i looked over toward her bed
(our room was large enough to unbunk, thank you)
and i saw her sitting straight up in bed, in the dark
looking back at me
we had awakened at the same instant
oh my god
haha
and she switched her reading lamp on
and we stared at each other
for like a real long time
lol also if you’re having bad dorm problems i feel bad for you son i had 99 college problems but i always had a single with a full kitchen in my dorm
and finally she goes,
“are you awake?”
hahahaha
but serious as a stroke i’m like “yeah”
omg
and we had this moment of mind-reading
where we both were upset about different things, and that was why we were both awake
and she pauses for like three years
and she says, and all of this is very quiet and measured
“would you like some gelato?”
:D
AND I DID
I HAD NEVER HEARD SUCH A GOOD IDEA IN MY LIFE
and i said yes!
and she smiled and got out of bed and padded out to the shared kitchen
and came back with gelato and bowls
CLEAN bowls
oh, C!
and it’s so easy to forget she was 19
hahaha
the bowls were clean
and we still really, really prize all of that.
:)
just the whole thing
my college roommate
is my maid of honor
see!
if i ever get married (sigh)
holy shit
not only do i SUPER need to get in touch with C
but yeah i would put her in the bridal party
i’m… ugh
i’m trying to be a better friend
in general
i fall out of touch ’cause i’m a twit
but
this woman is one of the most valuable people to me
actually
her letter she sent
it’s to my left
i hate to look at the date
i think years, literally two years? have gone by
and i haven’t written her
and that’s because i cried
i just cried so hard when i read this letter
i have it sitting to my immediate left
and i can’t even look at it
:(((
i fall out of touch a lot too
it happens
i mean, it “does”
but it shouldn’t
yeah
i ought to …
if people are valuable to me
and people *are*
i ought to share that with them
i keep trying to remind myself
that i owe it to some very important people
to tell them so! just, how important they are!
oh i’d better contact C
now i *won’t* be able to sleep
